Courage is found in these pages

I was 15 when I felt afraid. 

I knew beyond a doubt that someone had spiked the drink that I had just had.  I had a neighbour who I had popped in to say hello to. He was not there, but a group of friends were. I knew most of them. They were chatting and laughing, and I accepted the refreshment they offered. I did not know about spiked drinks then. But to go from a sober, nervous girl to someone so drunk that I was throwing up made me know something was wrong. It was when I felt fear. 

I did not want my parents to know that I was drunk. I went to one bathroom and washed off the mess from my blouse. I thought if I could just let it dry on the balcony, I could go home and not have to answer questions about where I had been and with whom.  That is when he came,  To check if I was all right. He used words to tell me I would have to accept what was coming after all; I was the one without a blouse on. 

Many of you will scream, “Foolish girl.  How could you let yourself get into that position?”  Well, those are the words that if our young women believe them, get them trapped. Those are words that parents and leaders who are too afraid to believe that their own children could fall prey to predators would use.

When I tell you that books saved my life, these are not the cliche words that roll off people’s tongues. In books, I found courage.  The heroes who faced insurmountable obstacles lined my courage vessel in so many layers until I began to build up my own stores. 

My story ended with me rolling away, grabbing my blouse and running as fast as I could. I could do that because the years of books made me believe that it was possible. 

My books are not about “Five steps to finding your courage” or “Ways to build courage into your life.”  They are brutal battles where my heroines face real fear.  The fear that forms a pit in your stomach and claws at your arms trying to immobilise you.  Because that is what the enemy does. He uses blame, fear, and guilt. And he does it every day, in our schools, on the street, in our homes and at our places of work.

We can not always prepare our female children for ever battle they will face.  But we can help them find courage. And we can teach our male children to support these women and to find their own courage, because fear does not choose a gender. We can share stories about real heroes both men and women who have found the courage to rise.

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